After reading this I am sure you will put your pen to paper and scribble something down for you boo. I decided to post it for your reading pleasure. It goes like this
................
Writing is my gift, or so people say.
I do know it is what I do best, its kinda like my little world of make believe, a world I could live in, under different names and do whatever I please without any repercaution or rift in real life. It is my personal heaven.
A man once said to me 'Boy your pen is capable of so much magic'.
So I thought if I could harness my feelings, package my emotions and write you a letter, maybe magic would occur, maybe you would love me...or at least understand how I feel. I'l forgive you if you don't read past this paragraph, I would've still forgiven you if you had refused to receive this letter but I ask that you forgive me for barging into your life and swirling your emotions.
I remember several months ago, requesting an assignment from you at Lex fori and you were so cool, so endearing, soothingly reserved. Then I got your BB pin and it turned out our pins were a perfect match except the last two digits. I was like 'hmmm okay, nice coincidence, nice girl'.
I remember having a date with you at Zoo garden. it was on our way there that sun decided to shine very very well and I was like Damn, I wish I had an air-conditioned car to carry this tush babe. We arrived the premises and it was ewww, ants crawling, no snacks, no music etc. Disaster date !. But somehow we ignored that and got engrossed in talking. At first you were not generous with words but after a while you opened up and couldn't stop talking, I was shocked because prior to this I never saw you make more than four sentences, you personified 'quiet'. I said to myself okay I would want to see this girl again.
I recall driving to your house one night. You came into my car and we talked for a while. The scent of your perfume was divine, it gave me that ever green nostalgia I get when the rain starts in February. You laughed at every provocation and i teased at every chance. You were so scholastic and versed in music, fashion, Movies, law, even writing/novels. I went home that day and said to myself. Okay? is this girl perfect or what.
Then we exchanged calls here and there, went out to catch a bite at fast foods fairly frequently and so on.
Somehow somehow our camaraderie depreciated and we talked less and less and I didn't even feel the need to attempt a visit anymore. I retorted to myself , oh well, I guess I didn't like her that much.
You must have felt it cause you kept scolding me for not pinging you or even trying to visit. According to you, you said I was so bad at chatting on BBM. You fondly asked me if I subscribed to BBM hourly because most of the time I was offline. Your sense of humor sure cracks me up.
So one night I decided to come around your house. Seeing you come towards me made me realise I had missed you without even knowing, again the scintillating perfume hit me.
It was then i also realised you had the cutest smile in the whole world. I went home and couldn't understand why I was feeling that way. Probably I had been suppressing feelings, I really don't know. Did I love you then? , No, not yet, but I sure as hell wanted to see and talk to you every freaking day.
So the calls tripled and quadrupled, the visits escalated and each time, you blew my mind away. Your tank tops, jean and simple slippers exemplified your modesty and zero materialism. Our early morning calls had become my daily dose of ecstasy and your smile...Lady your smile is heaven.
That was when that Nigga, named cupid shot his arrow right through me and I said to myself okay am in love.
I remember sitting at my dinning table and telling myself, Dude if you don't tell this babe how you feel, you will never find another like her. Am sure you remember I sent it to you on BBM. (Am sure you felt I was joking).
Funny enough, most times I ask a girl out, I always come up with sweet words and catchy phrases which though is not a lie, is not entirely how I feel. But when I told you that I might not find another like you, that came directly from my soul.
Well, telling you I love you became a problem because I was looking for the perfect moment but I failed to notice every moment with you was the perfect moment. So finally i said it and that was the whole truth.
They say the truth shall set you free. For the benefit of others who might come upon this letter, it is so freaking true !. The truth shall actually set you free...free and unhappy.
So here I am in the confines of my home, standing between the devil and the deep Calabar river, lost for ideas and the gas to ginger. It started with kicking me off your BBM list, now you keep filling my head with contradictory tales, at this juncture picking my calls have become a taboo. You say you don't love me, you say you wanna be left the fuck alone ! Pardon my language but that's how you sounded. You see, It was fun at first, I mean the whole catch- me- if- you- can- routine but I soon realised shit has gotten real.
Knowing your sanguine disposition, am sure your laughing hard at this letter, prolly showing Twinnie and Debbie and saying 'Does this Dude think he can make me change my mind with this stupid letter, are we in primary 5'. Well i guess its funnier from where your standing, cause from here I missed the joke. That's an excerpt from Clown by Emile Sandez one of your favourite artiste, personally I don't think that song is cool but if you like it then I like it.
In this letter, there are no promises, no regrets, no malice, no hopes, no pipe dreams, just the sincere words of a lovelorn writer.
You make me wanna be a better person babe, when I'm with you I feel like I have it all, even Chuck Bass ain't got nothing on me.
But then, we all gotta let go at a point, don't we?
So as I said, I have a gift... but Effiye, what use is this gift if I don't have you.
Yours Truly
Abagga
No comments:
Post a Comment