Shawarma.com

A lot of young Nigerians today are fast seeing the need to be more than just another face in the crowd. They are slowly beginning to realize that the usual 9-5 is not the beginning and the end after attaining a degree. These realizations are slowly bringing about the birth of extensive entrepreneurship in Nigeria.

While surfing the net on my usual quest for inspiration, I stumbled across a business name I had heard so much about, "Sharwarma.com". Upon research, I came across articles and interviews on and about Kayode Oluwamotemi, the 26 year old who owns and established Sharwarma.com.

He studied Electrical Electronics Engineering at Covenant University Ota, and even while in school, was convinced he did not want to work for anyone. Even though he wasn't certain what he wanted to do with his life as at then, he took the advise of his vice chancellor, Bishop David Oyedepo and resolved to be a job creator, and not a job seeker.

In an interview with Motunrayo Joel, he explained what he thinks is the most important reason for his success as 'the fact that he chose to be different'. Upon graduation, Kayode got to thinking on what he could become a part of. When he settled on cooking and Baking, he decided against going into 'the regular business where big names like KFC, Barcelos,' were already dominating.

He opted to make his brand different and came up with 'Sharwarma.com' - and all he had to do was 'change the regular look of the sharwarma joint by making it more appealing and combining it with a mini lounge where customers can watch football, chill and listen to good music under a conducive environment'.

Currently, Kayode has opened two more branches and they are both doing excellently.

On his advise to unemployed university graduates, he advises to "try to start something, no matter how small." he goes ahead to encourage youths to 'do what they will enjoy', and not just something everyone is doing, but 'should rather be innovative and different in a positive way.'

Perhaps the advise that most Nigerian students and graduates alike should relate to is that 'everything is not about oil and gas'. He points out the fact that working in an oil company is not the crux of life, as not everyone would get such opportunities.

"All people need to do is identify a need: what people really want and try to provide it for them and get paid for it".

18 Easy Steps To Getting Nothing Done...

There's lots of us out there being affected by the ongoing strike affecting the students in the country today. As a result of this, the majority of us have resorted to doing absolutely nothing with these forced holidays. We wake up each morning only to go back to sleep. There's no order to our lives and procrastination has become our watchword. Any activity of the brain is too much stress, and we therefore cannot be bothered.

This is the daily happenings for a large part of the student population (especially those that enjoy the rush of last minute exam preparations!! - myself included - oh lawd, those are the times...!!-). However, for those of us who haven't gotten this art down pat yet, here are some easy steps to eventually get nothing done! It's really easy...

1). When you wake up in the morning, think really hard about what you want to achieve that day- set some goals and intend to keep them.

2). But before you get around to achieving these goals, roll over and get a little more sleep- after all, the day is still really young.

3). When you eventually wake up at 10:00am, check your BlackBerry for any messages, after all your social life is just as important. Get on BBM, twitter, Facebook, WhatsApp and every other social network imaginable.

4). Two hours later, roll out of bed and head for the kitchen... everybody knows you can't work on an empty stomach!

5). Linger over your food and check your phone every two minutes.

6). Make conversation with whomever is available for a while then inform them you have a lot set to do that day and you are a little behind schedule. Head on back to your room.

7). Oh! It's Tuesday!! Another episode of 'The Originals' is out. Download it and watch - you won't concentrate properly until you see it anyway.

8). Watch a few more episodes of a few shows.

9). Quickly remind yourself you have work to do! That project is not gonna finish itself up!

10). Quickly head to the bathroom for a quick shower. Your phone rings and it's your friend asking you to meet up somewhere. You politely refuse and tell them you are swamped with your project, making her feel guilty about ignoring theirs.

11). Sit on the toilet seat for a quick shit... and oh! that's the red light blinking. Your friend just sent you a link - open it and proceed to watch about a million YouTube videos.

12). Visit your favourite blog site, bleudiaries.blogspot.com for any new posts.

13). Quickly shower and head back to your room fully prepared to get to work. Sit at your reading table and start opening books.

14). After reading the first page five times, get up and head to the kitchen for "snacks", you need it to keep you from falling asleep.

15). Get back to your room, pick your i-pad and play Temple Run for a while.

16). Check your phone. Oh! It's 6pm!! Too late to get anything done anyway. Settle down and read your pings.

17). It's time for bed. Think about everything you have to accomplish tomorrow. Solemnly promise yourself that tomorrow is the day you'd get things done.

18). Go to sleep.

This is a guarantee! (the get your money back kind) - if you follow these simple steps religiously everyday, you would definitely get nothing done eventually!

Be wise. Use your time smartly. 

The "TWITTER ATTENTION SYNDROME"

For those of you who missed it, this is what actually went down between Don Jazzy and Wande Coal...

The ongoing altercation between former co-workers and dare I say friends Wande Coal and Don Jazzy is nothing short of stunning

While the world saw the release of Wande's new single "Babyface" to which fans gave glowing reviews (me included), it also signaled the beginning of a new "beef" era which started with Don Jazzy posting this tweet... "How long will I continue 2 sweat and some people will choose to steal from me. I am nice and easy going doesn't mean u should disrespect me". Of course, we all wondered what was going on in the eventful world of Don Jazzy again. The answer was not long coming.

Apparently in accordance to Don Jazzy's tweets, Wande stole the song (Babyface) from him - intellectual property theft. He supported this allegation by posting a link on his twitter page which he tagged; "OK, THIS IS A STUDIO DEMO I MADE ABOUT A YEAR AGO. DON JAZZY- #BABYFACE..." he went ahead to urge the Black Diamond to "do the right thing asap" by giving him his credit. In reply to Wande's tweet asking him if he did not want to see him grow, the Don sighted numerous instances where he helped Wande, including sponsoring him to perform around the world "without collecting a dime" from him.

The Black Diamond on the other hand was shocked at these allegations, and with a "sad heart" responded to the Don's tweets. He tweeted "@DonJazzy after all these years of being loyal to you I can never believe you will ever say this to me.trying to bring me down on twitter". He went ahead to state that the Don wasn't God and could therefore not stop him.

Putting an end to the matter (@tleast on twitter and for the benefit of the fans), he also posted a link to the "Original studio demo version of Babyface that @DonJazzy recorded with him last year" and ended it with the words... "I REST MY CASE".

While fans are urging the Don to settle the matter in court, we would recall that there was a similar 'track record event' when D'banj left the then "Mo Hits Records". It is at this point I would spell out Wande's tweet to the Don that struck a cord in me and actually made me sit back and wonder, he said "@DonJazzy you have my phone number, email address and my DM to communicate with me, but you choose twitter attention syndrome".

I readily agree with him here. Mind you, I'm not picking sides, but after all is said and done, there's a million ways to skin a fish, in this case, trying to garner attention and sympathy isn't one of them. Following this, I do believe the Don, (I'd give the benefit of the doubt and say, probably in the heat of the moment was actually trying to "bring him down on twitter", apparently cos of the "twitter attention syndrome" he's too caught up on.

If you have a right you feel has been infringed upon, make use of the legal system readily available to all and maintain the high level of respect the masses have for you... and ehhn, *clears throat* @DonJazzy I'm almost a lawyer, I can give advise... of course at a fee. But it won't be too high oh! Promise :)

Don't Die A Virgin!!!

I am sure you are wondering with angst, what this piece is all about. You are thinking, probably some loose blogger trying to propagate some evil gospel. Well guess again.

Different cultures have different ideas of heaven.

The taoists will say heaven is nature and in heaven there are flowers, trees and mountains.

The athiest will try to convince you that heaven is simply peace of mind.

The rastafarians will tell you heaven is a sealed room clogged with burning marijuana.

Most denominations honestly believe that in heaven there are beautiful virgins waiting to satisfy your cosmic desires.

I have no reservations about virgins occupying heaven, in fact I invite the idea, after all every good person deserves a break. My irk is the means by which certain people use to get to this heaven.

Picture this: Mr. Johnson and his 4 kids are on a plane on their way to disney land for a swell vacation. They left mummy behind because mummy had some work to do.

Unknown to Mr. Johnson and the kids, Mr. X is also a passenger on that plane but Mr. X has no intention of alighting the plane, actually Mr. X's destination is not even of this world. You see Mr. X has been mingling with the wrong company, in addition, he is sex starved and disturbed. Our depraved passenger believes bombing the plane will lead him to his paradise, where he will finally get laid. So he does so and Mr Johnson, his children together with several other human beings on the plane perish in the most morbid way possible. Logically it would be inferred a terrorist is going to heaven... at least, that's what they tell us.

It is only with human compassion and rational thinking that I plead to our women... PLEASE! Don't die a virgin, for there are a lot of terrorists waiting for you! or would you rather care and caress a killer who takes away innocent lives and robs a woman of her whole family? How does she deal? Where does she start?

No one is judging, no one is casting aspersions. All I am saying is evil cannot lead to good. Evil will only beget evil.

Enough said.

"Kiss Me If You Can!!!"

What is the point, really, of kissing? We make such fuss about it and truthfully, it hasn't always been an indication of love. Believe me, once upon a time, it used to be a sign of respect. LMAO! That's a funny one. I really can't imagine kissing a person cos I respect her.

In this part of our world, kissing a dude's the first step to a big deal, so generally, girls take their time... sometimes, too much time even...

Imagine this scenario: I'm alone with this ebony beauty at her favourite hang out spot, we've already had two previous dates in the space of 1 month. We talked a lot about our past relationships and we don't need Oprah to tell us we are compatible. We just know.

I am certain she's feeling the boy and I too am loving her charisma (and her figure 8 sha). First date, was lunch at Monty Suites. Second was swimming at Axari Hotels. The phone calls, constant and on point. Now marina resort, (I don show working na), what next. THE KISS !

We are both staring at the undulating sea, she turns to look at me, and I return the focus. I move a little closer and her glossed lips parts slightly, she is anticipating, her body language is saying to me "Nigga get over here and give me the kiss of life". (hehehehe)

So I move closer, and closer and time seems to freeze, the air seems so soothing, the water whistles softly, the perfect moment, nothing could go wrong.

Just when my lips are about to meet hers, the impossible happens, she turns away sharply.

WTF!

 I read her body language again and this time it says "Nigga, seriously?!, you taught I would kiss you? you never start"

This and other experiences have led me to believe that Kissing in our Nigerian context, is a situation of 'Kiss me if you can'.

But why?

In a place like Yankee, you could meet a girl, bring her some flowers and chocolate, spend quality time with her and Bam! the kiss. In Nigeria, you take a girl out, meet her friends, get to know her, shop and tire, be on the way to see her parents, go for the kiss and Bam! She dodges. Omo mehnn! Puzzling ain't it?

I questioned some of my female friends in Nigeria, on this phenomenon and they had a lot to say.

Some said they naturally dislike kissing. A host of them qualified kissing as sinful. Others said they actually do like kissing but Nigerian guys are terrible at it so they avoid it altogether. One said she is scared of kissing because some guys fail to clean their mouths properly, according to her, 'the fear of a dirty mouth is the beginning of wisdom'. (Lol! That cracked me up!) A particular lady intimated me in confidence that she stays away from kissing or anything resembling kissing, because it gives her orgasms. Oops!

Life is certainly full of surprises.

After looking up kissing on the fountain of all knowledge, Google, I realised that, Kissing has been practised since the beginning of time. It first started in the form of animals feeding their young ones with their mouths. Then in 1500 B.C most couples pressed and rubbed their noses together as a show of love and affection. So I'm guessing here that at some point, a guy slipped and found the lips more enticing and pleasurable. Maybe he was like 'Damn girl from now on, I don't wanna rub your nose no more, I want to kiss those lips, come here stone age mama'... Just Maybe.

But 500 years later, the phenomenon of kissing had come to stay and was seen in 'Mahabharata' an epic poem.

"She set her mouth to my mouth and made a noise that produced pleasure in me".

Ladies and gentlemen this is how kissing came to existence.

My dear readers, the guys especially, I want to apologise in advance because I may not be able to give you a text book answer as to the reason why Our Nigerian babes almost never kiss you on your first attempt, but I assure you, there is light at the end of this tunnel.

It is common wisdom that kissing never originated in this part of the world, it is an imported custom, and like every borrowed custom it is not fully and utterly accepted.

Our girls are an embodiment of pride and virtuousness, so don't expect her to jump on your lips immediately you make that move. She doesn't wanna be dubbed 'Cheap'. Good things don't come cheap... or so they say.

There is always a second and third chance. Like a coke or fanta promo will say, 'Try again'.

I did kiss my acquaintance on the fourth try, (when she wasn't even looking). Funny, this time she posed no resistance. Again life is full of surprises.

But my dear, if on your umpteenth try, she still decides to fall your hand, have patience. You will definitely have that kiss on your wedding night.